What is Emotional Sobriety?
Jake Newby
| 3 min read
Jake Newby is a brand journalist for Blue Cross Blue...
Key Takeaways
- Emotional sobriety means managing life’s highs and lows without relying on drugs, alcohol or other unhealthy coping behaviors.
- Physical sobriety removes substances, but emotional sobriety addresses the underlying thoughts, feelings and behaviors that can fuel relapse.
- Mindfulness, therapy and support networks can help build emotional awareness, resilience and healthier responses to difficult emotions.
- Recovery is an ongoing process, and developing emotional sobriety can strengthen long-term stability, growth and overall well-being.
When we think of the term “sobriety,” we think of quitting drugs and alcohol. But recovering from a substance use disorder is about more than just physically abstaining from substances. Achieving emotional sobriety is a key part of getting and staying sober, as research has identified emotional regulation difficulties as a significant relapse predictor.
Emotional sobriety is the ability to experience life’s ups and downs without drinking or doing drugs to numb or enhance what you are feeling. It’s knowing you can feel joy, excitement, sadness, disappointment and everything in between without turning to substances or other destructive behaviors to escape uncomfortable feelings.
Why emotional sobriety matters
Physical sobriety removes drugs or alcohol from the equation, but it does not automatically resolve the emotions or behaviors that contributed to substance use in the first place. Emotional sobriety involves being able to cope with the normal shifts in emotions that come with dealing with life on life’s terms, rather than being controlled by those emotions and succumbing to substances to escape them.
Anger, anxiety, sadness, frustration and disappointment are all part of life. Emotional sobriety involves recognizing those feelings and finding healthier ways to respond to them. Some in the recovery community may be familiar with the terms “dry drunk” and “white knuckling,” which are used to describe people who are not actively drinking or using drugs, but are struggling with the same emotional and psychological issues that led them to drink. These individuals are likely yet to embrace their sober emotions and could benefit from continued treatment and support.
A Cleveland Clinic addiction and substance abuse counselor describes emotional sobriety as involving emotional identification, emotional regulation and regulating behaviors connected to emotions. This can be an important part of maintaining long-term recovery because removing a substance does not necessarily mean the underlying emotional challenges have disappeared.
How to develop emotional sobriety
Developing emotional sobriety can take time and may require support. One important step is learning to pause before reacting to a strong emotion. For example, someone who feels angry may be tempted to lash out. Instead, taking a moment to slow down and consider a healthier response can help prevent an emotional reaction from turning into a destructive behavior.
Mindfulness, meditation and breathing techniques can also help create space between an emotion and a reaction. Cleveland Clinic experts note that mindfulness can help people stay present and accept what is happening in the moment.
Therapy and support groups can also play an important role. Individual or group therapy can provide professional guidance, while a sponsor or others with similar recovery experiences can offer additional support and perspective.
Emotional sobriety is an ongoing process
Emotional sobriety does not mean you will achieve a state of constant serenity and peace – life will still challenge you and cause you to feel negative feelings. Developing healthier ways to experience and manage those emotions without returning to substances or other harmful behaviors is the essence of the term.
Recovery can involve setbacks, difficult memories and uncomfortable feelings. Building emotional awareness and learning healthier coping strategies can help make those challenges more manageable. For anyone struggling with substance use or recovery, talking with a licensed mental health professional can help people better understand their symptoms, develop coping strategies and begin the healing process.
Quickly get the right help for a mental health or substance use crisis by visiting Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan's Crisis Care Support directory at this link. These resources can help you find the best-fitting, immediate care for yourself or your loved ones based on the care centers closest to your county.
Learn more about mental health and options you have as a member to seek help at bcbsm.com/mentalhealth.
Photo credit: Getty Images
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